Male Abuse Awareness Week

There is a cultural bias which maintains that males cannot be victims. Males are expected to be confident, knowledgeable, and aggressive. When boys are victimized, they tend to be blamed more for their abuse and are viewed as less in need of care and support, than girls who are abused.

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Types of male abuse, facts and statistics

- At least 41 percent of the victims of domestic violence are men. (Harvey P. Forehand)
- As many as 1 in 5 males will be sexually abused before the age of 18. And one in five of adult rape victims are male. (Federal Bureau of Investigation in the US, or FBI)
- One in six men will be a victim of domestic abuse in their lifetime. (The British Crime Survey 2006/07 figures)
- Same-sex batterers use forms of abuse similar to those of heterosexual batterers. They have an additional weapon in the threat of “outing” their partner to family, friends, employers or community. (Lundy, Abuse That Dare Not Speak Its Name: Assisting Victims of Lesbian and Gay Domestic Violence in Massachusetts, 28 New Eng. L. Rev. 273 (Winter 1993)
- women who abuse men tend to prefer forms of abuse that don’t involve physical violence. The hurt, the injury caused by the habitual use of vicious mockery, frequent emotional blackmail, spreading odious lies and so on aren’t visible. (Harvey P. Forehand)
- Male Sexual Harassment in the Work Place on the Rise; According to a report by the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission there were a record amount of harassment complaints filed by men in 2006. The figures given in the report state that of the 12,025 sexual harassment claims made in 2006 15.4 percent of these claims came from men. This shows a significant increase of male harassment cases made in the last ten years of 4.5. ([link])
- Munchausen by Proxy is when someone is causing illness or injury in another to obtain attention; usually by a parent or caregiver against a child (in 85% of cases the child is male) ([link])

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Useful websites and books

Why men do not disclose – [link]
ManKind (chariity supporting male victims of abuse) – [link]
M-Power – [link]

Abused Boys: The Neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse – by Mic Hunter
Victims No Longer: Men Recovering from Incest and Other Sexual Child Abuse – by Mike Lew
The House On Telegraph Hill (An Asylum): Growing Up with Abusive Parents and a Lifetime After – by Charles S. Wilson

Domestic abuse against men

Not only women are victims of Domestic Abuse. Men can be, and frequently are, also victims of abuse in the home, either at the hands of their female or, in the case of same-sex relationships, their male partner. Abuse is a control issue – abusers believe they have the right to manipulate, control and humilate another person, and this belief is not only held by some men but also by some women.

Every year, 1,510,455 women and 834,732 men are victims of physical violence by an intimate. This is according to a Nov. 1998 Department of Justice report on the National Violence Against Women Survey. What does that mean?
Every 37.8 seconds a man is beaten. The data show that men are more likely to have a knife used on them or to be threatened with a knife, hit with an object, kicked, bitten or have something thrown at them.

Domestic violence is: Any incident or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse (psychological, physical, sexual, financial or emotional) between adults who are or have been intimate partners or are family members, regardless of gender or sexuality.

Male rape and sexual abuse

What is male sexual assault?
Male sexual assault is when you have been forced to take part in any sexual act with another man or woman which you did not willingly consent to. Even if you did not resist or fight back at the time of the attack, it is still assault.

Who can it happen to?
Quite simply, anyone. It could have happened to you whilst you were a child or a teenager, or as an adult. It is not a ‘gay crime’ – it happens to more straight men than gay men.

Who are the perpetrators?
Again, it could be anyone – male or female. But the facts show that more men were abused from within the family than outside, and more men were raped by people they knew rather than strangers.

How common is it?
It’s much more common than most people think. Research statistics tell us that almost 3% of men reported a non-consensual sexual experience as adults and over 5% of men reported sexual abuse as a child.

Is it a crime?
In England there were changes to the 1956 Sexual Offences act in 1994 which made the rape of a man an equal crime to rape of a woman. Further updates to the Sexual Offences act in 2004 mean that the different types of sexual assault that men can experiences have been defined.

What kind of effects can male survivors experience?
It varies from individual to individual, but common effects include; feelings of isolation, depression, anger, anxiety, issues about sexuality and gender, substance abuse, self-harm, eating disorders, negative body image, fears about abusing, hyperconsciousness of body and appearance,  PTSD/C-PTSD and DID.

Who else is affected?
The psychological and mental health issues which survivors often experience, can also lead to real problems with relationships. So anyone who shares his life, be it partner, friend or family, can be affected.

Why is male rape and sexual abuse such a taboo subject?
Firstly, few people even realise that male rape exists. So a man who is trying to come to terms with sexual assault can feel like there is nowhere to turn. But secondly, society itself places certain expectations on men – they are supposed to be “strong” and “able to take care of themselves”. This only heightens the sense of confusion and self-doubt felt by survivors of male rape and sexual abuse; many of them end up blaming themselves.

Why do so many men suffer in silence?
Because of our society’s taboo about male rape and sexual assault it is rare that a victim will go to the police or seek immediate help – on the contrary, he will often be as desperate to keep it a secret as his attacker is. As well as the trauma and feelings of shame, many of our clients face the difficulties of people’s attitudes to male rape and abuse.

For more information on male rape see here

When men are the victims of rape

It is impossible to estimate how many men are raped each year. Whereas 60% of women never report being raped the number of men who don’t report it is likely to be far higher, because they do not want to admit to the humiliation and degradation and do not want to have their sexuality and muscularity questioned. The problem has been ignored for decades, in part for this reason.

Men raped by men:

Many people assume incorrectly that the only males who are raped are children, or that male rape only occurs in prisons and between homosexuals. While it is true that many male victims of rape are young, the age range is as great as that of female victims, ranging from a few months to over 90 years of age. The primary difference seems to be the number of assailants and the degree of force used.
Male rape victims are often attacked by groups of men and usually sustain more physical trauma that female victims. Those victims who come to the attention of the authorities, however, may be a highly select group, since the physical trauma may be what precipitates their coming forward.
Male rape is more common in settings where women are absent, such as prisons. As with female victims, rapists attack men in an attempt to assert dominance and control.
Male survivors face many of the same problems that female survivors face. Like female survivors, males often are not believed or they are accused of being homosexuals who were “asking for it”. An article published in the southwestern medical journal in 1980 adviced physicians when examining a male rape survivor to “maintain a high level of suspicion, since in some cases the “victim” may have an ulterior motive in reporting the alleged attack. Even in the case of a child, the story may be fabricated in a bid for attention.”
One of the most devastating issue that a male survivor faces is having his masculinity and sexuality questioned by others. Many men protect theirselves from feeling vulnerable by beleieving that only gay men are raped, and so logically the survivor must “really be gay” and “must have wanted it”.

Men raped by women:

The belief that men cannot respond sexually against their will is incorrect. In reality male sexual responses can occur in a variety of emotional states, including anger and fear. For more information on this see here
In reported cases of woman on man rape men have been forced by a single woman or a group of women to participate in sexual activity, including intercourse under threat of physical violence. The men often reported being physical restrained, fearing not only for their general safety but also for their lives.
These men, just as anyone who is raped, suffer great emotional trauma, which often lasts for years after the event. Men raped by women are also more likely to hide the event out of fear of disbelief or ridicule, which often aggravates the emotional distress. The most immediate impact is a feel of disgrace and humiliation that makes them feel “less of a man”.
While they usually come to the attention of therapists when seeking help for sexual dysfunction, the men often do not associate the sexual issues with the rape. Once in treatment they may be involved with a therapist for years before divulging the assault.

Another major issue for men who responded sexually during an assault is that they later feel abnormal – that any “normal” man would have not responded. This adds to their feelings of inadequacy and may make them question their own sexuality or gender preferences. This is especially problematic in cases of teenage boys being assaulted by men.

Although men are often seen as the aggressors in reality they can be just as vulnerable and as traumatised as women, being victimised in the same way and succumbing to the same fears and trauma. Though the gender roles and expectations that society holds can often make the aftermath of a rape even more destructive to a man than it is to a woman.